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发布于:2019-2-20 11:04:12  访问:1 次 回复:0 篇
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4 Ways Lovers Verbally Abuse One Another
Some people will never understand how to communicate our thoughts and feelings properly. Instead we embark on a rampage and say things we mostly don’t imply to state, but say them anyway because we’re angry, tired, confused, frightened, stressed, resentful, or? We are literally allowing our feelings tell us what to say.
1. Lack of Proper Communication
The power of our words can make or break a married relationship. Just how we treat our spouse due to our own lack of ability to communicate correctly can literally build up barriers between lovers. Words hurt, despite the fact that as kids we learned to state, “phrases may never harm us” the simple fact is, terms can be darn right abusive. Most of us when abused with terms, abuse back, because we don’t know how to fight back properly.
Ethel phone calls Tom a lazy sexual intercourse addict because he received’t help around the house, and when he`s no longer working he watches TV or looks at Drtuber Porn. Tom phone calls Ethel a floozy because she dresses provocatively to function and continues to be recognized to flirt with Tom’s friends.
What`s the issue here? Lack of proper communication is the biggest issue I see. Instead of Ethel contacting Tom a lazy sexual intercourse addict she should do something about any of it. Most likely if she stops dressing like a floozy to work, and begins appreciating her hubby more, he will stop devaluing ladies and begin valuing his wife for the change. Tom has been taught since he was small that ladies are sexual objects to exploit to his benefit, and Ethel reinforces that for Tom by the way she dresses and by the way she goodies him.
Rather than Tom contacting Ethel a floozy, he should begin appreciating her more to be the “person she is” instead of what he imagines her to become. The thing is, both Tom and Ethel need inner recovery and guidance that this world won`t give them. Heck, neither Tom nor Ethel thinks they have a problem! The world thrives on immorality and lust in marriage. As long as Ethel includes a low self-esteem she will dress like a floozy, she knows no other way to become. And as long as Tom thinks women are nothing but a sexual intercourse object, he`ll continue devaluing his wife and other women.
2. Disrespect
Verbal abuse of any kind is definitely disrespectful. It hurts a person emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Many couples disrespect each other and they don’t even know it. The pattern of disrespect is within unproductive communication. It is not that you cannot tell your spouse your feelings, nonetheless it is within how you tell them! If it`s destructive or harmful towards your partner then it really is unproductive, and disrespectful.
Why do we disrespect the person we are said to be loving? One reason is because we don’t know how to become loving people. Superficial appreciate is what most couples live from. Will there be any wonder relationship cannot survive on superficialities. Another reason is basically because when one spouse verbally abuses the additional it causes a string reaction.
3. Negative Feelings
How exactly we communicate our feelings to others shows in how well we are doing being a person. I`ve learned that people don`t need to be aggressive with our emotions to get our point across, we can be assertive instead. In this way we do not harm others with our awful words.
Don’t say: “You can’t do anything right, I’ll simply do it myself?” (That is invalidating and rejecting)
Do say: “Yes, that`s one method of carrying it out, but I love doing it this way because…” (This isn`t invalidating or rejecting)
Don’t say: “You make me so angry” (This is blaming and accusing – no one can make you furious, but yourself)
Do say: Personally i think angry when…” (This is directing your anger toward yourself rather than on your spouse)
Don’t say: “You made me commit adultery because…” (That is making your partner feel responsible for your weakness)
Perform say: I made a mistake, I’m sorry to be unfaithful inside our marriage. (This is taking responsibility)
Don’t say: “All you value is what you want, what about myself?” (That is selfish)
Perform say: “I feel that we do a lot of issues that you want, and I`d like to complete something that we both like.” (This is compromise)
Do you observe where I`m going with this? You would not believe how many occasions each day that we direct our adverse and destructive feelings at our partner, and accuse one another for items that has nothing in connection with them. We have control over our emotions and how we use those emotions in discussion with those we appreciate. Believe before you speak.
4. Insufficient Faith
AN EXCELLENT relationship with Christ means a good relationship with this spouse. I encourage couples to start applying The almighty’s knowledge filled ways to their marriage and using that since helpful information toward inner recovery and recovery of marriage. So long as we are devoid of the Holy Soul within us, we will immediate our feelings and emotions in harmful and destructive ways towards one another.
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is correct, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, - if anything is great or praiseworthy – consider such things. (Philippians 4:6-8)
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